The Eyes Have It...(Or Not)

Please forgive me for posting the same image on 2 consecutive blogs. I don't usually do that but in this case it's appropriate and I'll explain in a little while.

Considering my background in Photography a lot of my friends come to me for advice on what camera to buy. Usually they are looking for a point and shoot, a market I don't really pay much attention to. The technology changes about every 90 days so my knowledge of specific models would be outdated by November. For these reasons the answer is usually the same...cameras are designed by computers and built by robots so if you stick with one of the major brands it's pretty tough to get a bad camera. Mostly it's a matter of which one fits your hand and your budget being the best camera for you.

There are 2 things I do mention, though, when I answer the question. I think it's important to have an optical viewfinder and the maximum amount of optical zoom you can get. These are two critical features in my opinion. But there's a problem. If you sense a rant coming on you're right but not just yet. Just now I'm camera shopping for my wife and trying to take my own advice.

About 7 or 8 years ago we were at a family reunion in northern Nebraska. My brothers in law and I decided it would be fun to take a canoe trip down the Niobrara river and I wanted to take some photos. Having been in canoes before and knowing their propensity to tip over sometimes I asked if I could borrow the spousal camera, a nice little Canon Sureshot film camera. The question: "Why can't you take your own camera?" The answer: "My camera and lens is worth over $1000, yours is a little over $100. If we tip the canoe over the math doesn't make sense." With logic like that it was an easy sell so me and the Sureshot headed out for a canoe ride.

Along the way there was some discussion about who would drive the canoe. I mentioned I'd been in canoes quite a bit when I was younger so I was nominated to steer one of the canoes. I neglected to advise them that the last time I was in a canoe was about 1963 but it wouldn't have mattered. So there we were, getting the canoes in the water, arranging the coolers and cold drinks, and pushing off. I thought I'd be cool and jump in the stern after pushing into a little deeper water and that's where my judgement came into question. Forgetting my canoe experiences I neglected to jump in directly from the stern, choosing to approach from the side. An instant later the canoe was upside down and I was sitting in 3 feet of water with just my head above the surface. Worse, Judy's camera was hanging around my neck and to my dismay, it didn't swim very well. In fact, it drowned instantly. After much explaining when we got back I promised to buy her a new camera, relishing the opportunity to get her away from film and into the digital world.

Two weeks later she was the proud owner of a Canon A75 digital camera. It was 3.2 megapixels, a lot for that time, had an optical viewfinder, and wonder of wonders, allowed her to shoot video which she did in profusion every time Heather was competing in Special Olympics. After much whining and groveling she even allowed me to borrow it for a trip to San Francisco. (that's why the same image is posted on 2 consecutive blogs. This image was shot with that camera before being altered in Photoshop) It's been a great little camera and has served her well for many years. But now it's dying. The LCD no longer works for viewing so you can't see what you're about to shoot or have just shot. So I'm camera shopping. LET THE RANT BEGIN

In attempting to heed my own advice one of the critical options of a camera is an optical viewfinder. After shopping a few stores, though, I'm learning that those options are becoming more and more difficult to find. In fact, the local Best Buy didn't have a single point and shoot camera on the shelf with an optical viewfinder. Ditto the local Costco. What the bleep is wrong with the camera manufacturers? Do they think people never shoot photographs in bright sunlight? Is it their opinion that all photographs are taken indoors? What the bleep? When I bought my Canon G10 last year it seems there were a lot more cameras with optical viewfinders. Of course, the G10 and it's replacement G11 cost about twice what I've been authorized to spend.

So I've been shopping cameras. After a quick discussion it's been made clear to me that an optical viewfinder may be one of the things I'm a bit OCD about. With that in mind I'm going to disregard my own advice. By dismissinng an optical viewfinder I can concentrate on sticking with the major brands and merely look for a robust optical zoom. So far I've looked at a Nikon and an Olympus model. And I think we've found one at Costco. Better yet, it's on sale! Boooo yahhhhhhh! Now I'll have one more camera to learn. So what if there's no optical viewfinder? It ain't my camera!

Gimme yo left, yo right, yo left

I've always been a little confused by the Left Brain/Right Brain thing. I took a Psychology class back in High School but all I remember about that is being told that 1 out of 5 Americans suffers from mental illness. After that we all tried to avoid sitting in the 5th seat. I didn't hear about the Left/Right thing till much later in life when I was studying Photography.

They say that most people fit into one of the two categories. Studies seem to indicate creative people tend to use the left side of their brain more while mechanical people are right brain oriented. I don't know if that's entirely true but I accept it and will use that as the premise of this blog entry.

I believe very strongly that Photographers use both sides of their brains equally. If they didn't, most of the outstanding photographic images you see (perhaps even a few of mine) would never be created. Here's why....

There is a lot of discussion about the ability to "see" an image. You can definitely learn all the rules of thumb regarding composition and lighting but a lot of folks believe that you either have the eye or you don't. I tend to fall into this camp. How else can you explain why someone with a bazillion dollars worth of equipment can create some pretty good images but nothing that really moves you yet a person with basic equipment can photograph the same scene and create a very emotional image.

When I'm out on a photographic expedition and searching out things to photograph the left side of my brain is going at warp speed. Is this an interesting composition? Is the light good now or would it be better at a different time of day? When I decide something might make an interesting image and the camera is brought out, how does it look through the viewfinder? Would it look better if I moved my angle of view? Are there any distracting elements in the frame? Any bright spots that will draw the eye away from the subject? Then come the compositional rules. What's attracted me to this image? Are there leading lines? Repeating patterns? Contrasting elements? All the rules of successful composition run through my subconscious at lightning speed. Most times I don't even think about it, the image just "hits" me. The image of the subdued shadow of the cross on the bell tower is an example of just such a "hit." I saw it and even before turning on the camera I knew how I was going to compose and frame the image.

So if we conclude that the left brain is responsible for "seeing" images, where does the right brain come in? Well, there is a lot of mechanical activity in creating a photograph. Once the left brain has found an image worthy of photographing what now? What lens should I use? A telephoto to compress the elements? A wide angle to stretch the perspective? Should I use a small lens opening for more depth of field or a large lens opening to blur the background? What about shutter speeds? Do I need to freeze or blur movement? Should I use a filter to get the desired effect? A polarizer? Neutral density? How bout a graduated ND filter? Most importantly, do I need to correct the exposure readings or will they be sufficient for this subject? And that's not considering post processing. Was the white balance correct? Did I crop the image correctly? What about burning and dodging? Color correction? Come on right brain, give me guidance. What do I need to do mechanically to execute this image the way I see it in my mind?

Now that we've gotten that data out of the way, let's examine how the process is executed for the two images accompanying this blog beginning with the Shadow of the Cross. I was in Taos, New Mexico for a long weekend and went out to San Francisco De Asis church one morning to photograph the church. I'd photographed the church before and have some nice images but when I visit a place I've previously photographed I'm always looking to improve on the existing images. In this case I didn't think about it being Sunday morning. People were showing up for early morning Mass and were milling around on all sides of the church so the grand elevation shots were impossible. I started looking for detail images and when I finally made my way to the front of the church I looked up at the bell tower and this image "hit" me. I saw it before me and in my mind's eye I saw how it would look as a finished photograph. Now all I had to do was execute the image. ENGAGE RIGHT BRAIN! I had a wide angle zoom on the camera but knew I needed more focal length to isolate the view I wanted so I quickly changed lenses and got the camera mounted on my tripod. What about framing the image? I zoomed in and out a bit to find the composition that most closely matched what I wanted to portray. Now let's think about exposure. The majority of the subject is neutral, probably very near 18% grey reflectance value which is what the meter is going to try to do so no compensation is necessary. There is an area of shadow and an area of white but neither is enough to influence the exposure adversely. Now that exposure is calculated and verified, what about the shutter speed/aperture combination? The subject is static so there's no danger of subject movement and I'm on a tripod so there's no danger of camera movement therefore the shutter speed isn't a determining factor. I don't need to blur a background and the subject is far enough from the camera that a moderate lens opening will give me adequate depth of field. Knowing that all lenses are critically sharpest about 2 stops in from maximum aperture I stopped down to f8 and pushed the button. A glance at the histogram on the LCD display told me I'd nailed the exposure and the preview told me the composition and focus was right on so I was done and on to the next image. The left brain "saw" the image and the right brain made it happen.

But what about the other image? Well, that one came to be in a reverse sequence. It took shape in the right brain first, moved to the left brain for refinement, then back to the right brain for execution. I was attending a photo seminar in San Francisco a few years ago which dealt with both the process of seeing and creating an image but also post processing techinques in Photoshop. One of the quick and dirty techniques we learned in the morning session was a graphic pen technique. Basically Photoshop converts a photograph to a line drawing image using the graphic pen effect. Then using some Photoshop magic you "paint" the color back in, the result being a graphic image that's a bit surreal, similar to a hand colored Black and White photograph. My right brain communicated the mechanical process to the left brain which "saw" an image of the fishing boats at Fisherman's Wharf which would be perfect for this techinque. During the lunch break I hopped on a cable car to the Wharf, composed the image, and exposed it. (The seagull was a bonus) Then back on the cable car and on my way back to the hotel where the seminar was being held. A quick download from the camera to the computer, the graphic pen effect was initiated, the color was painted back in and there was the image, just as I'd seen it in my mind.

So there you have it. The left brain "creates" the imaginary image and the right brain takes over to mechanically execute it. In my opinion there's no doubt about it. Successful photographers are mentally ambidextrous.

Agree? Disagree? Leave a comment and we'll discuss it.

I Wonder.......

Did you ever ask yourself "Why did I choose to come to this place?" Well, I asked myself that a few times over 4th of July weekend in Taos, New Mexico. Don't get me wrong, I like Taos and it was nice to get a chance to spend some time there.

My first visit was 3 years ago when I drove through on the way to White Sands in southern New Mexico. We were delivering Heather to Roswell for her first year of college and since all her gear required 2 vehicles I took off early and made a side trip to White Sands for a little photography time. Since I had no time crunch I decided to detour through Taos and see if it was worthy of more time. I spent an hour walking around Taos Pueblo before driving through town and on to Santa Fe and points south.

The next visit was a year ago. We picked Heather up in Roswell after the school year ended, dropped her off at the airport in Albuquerque for a visit to Erin's house in Phoenix, and drove to Taos to spend the night. We took the High Road from Santa Fe to Taos and spent some time photographing old mission churches at Chimayo, Las Trampas, and Picturis. It was a grand day and I got some of my favorite images. We had a nice supper in Taos and I was up at sunrise to photograph San Francisco De Asis church in Rancho de Taos. It's easy to see why this building attracted such artistic notables as Georgia Okeefe and Ansel Adams and why it is now the most photographed church in America. After breakfast we spent a couple of hours going through the shops on the Plaza before heading home, vowing to return when we could spend some more time.

So why ask myself "why?" Well, it sounds funny but this had some of the same characteristics of our Alaska Cruise in 2005. On that trip, by the time we got to Skagway we'd seen the same tourist trinkets and baubles in the same kind of stores twice before. In Taos, going through the shops on the Plaza, I got the same impression. Same stuff, different day. So why did we elect to spend 3 days here? An excellent question.

Maybe it was the food. I had Pasta Bolognese at The Trading Post Grill on Friday night and it was really good. And the breakfasts whipped up by Charles at American Artists Gallery Bed and Breakfast were amazing. Veggie breakfast burritos one morning, scrambled eggs with peppers and onions accompanied by turkey sausage the next, blue corn pancakes with blueberries the final morning. Good stuff. And of course the Beef Tenderloin tournados at Lamberts on Saturday night. The service sucked...it was over an hour between the time we ordered and our food arrived but when it got there all was forgiven. It was marvelous. And don't forget Saturday's lunch at Taos Diner. Really good pulled pork bbq sandwich. Yeah, maybe the food had something to do with it.

Probably, though, it is the history and the architecture. I'm a big fan of the historical period of the early to mid 19th century in the West and I'd read about Taos being a very popular spot for trappers and mountain men to winter. Kit Carson and Charles Bent were two of the most prominent citizens of Taos during that period. And I mentioned the church architechture before. Just look at the images contained here.

So while it may be same old, same old as far as the merchandise in the shops, there are a lot of other things to bring me back. And I will be back. Just not sure when.

The Tetons are teasing me (again)

Another grey day in the Tetons. Story of my sad and pathetic life. Above are 3 photographs, reading top to bottom: Sunrise Wednesday, Sunset Tuesday, Sunrise (or lack thereof) Thursday. With the exception of the top photo, the Tetons have been teasing me and are now telling me it's time to leave.

When we rolled in on Tuesday afternoon the cloud deck was very promising. Scattered but thick clouds with a break on the western horizon that would allow the sun to reflect off the underside of the clouds and color up the Tetons. But just before sunset the cloulds just magically disapated. They just went away! There was some nice late light on Tiwinot but mostly it was a fizzle.

Sunrise Wednesday was really nice but not spectacular. Again, some clouds adding atmosphere to the shot and a break at the horizon that would allow the clouds to color up but alas, just before the sun came up some clouds must have formed at the horizon. I got some awesome light on the peaks as you can see but the clouds never did display any color. On a scale of 1-10 I'd rate this one an 8. Some more colorful clouds and less wind to spoil the reflections would have made it a 10.

Finally, this morning. I planned to be at the barn on Mormon Row when the sun came up at 5:45 and knew it was a 30 minute drive to get there. When I rolled over and looked at the clock it was 4:59 and I knew I was going to have to hurry to get on location. It was overcast when I got outside but there were some breaks near the horizon (are we seeing a theme here?) and I thought it might be one of those magic times when everything gets some blazing color. Blazing down the highway, hoping not to T-bone an elk or moose or bison, I came to the realization that I wasn't going to make it to Mormon Row so I quickly pulled into Schwabacher's Landing. Put the camera together, get the gradient neutral density filter holder mounted on the lens, and hike the 2o0 or so yards to the beaver pond hoping the color on the eastern horizon would spread to the rest of the sky now that I'm in place. Sadly, another fizzle. The sun just barely kissed the top of Tiwinot for about 15 seconds before the clouds on the horizon closed in and everything went grey.

So today is the day Heather and I have to head home and the Tetons are making sure I don't forget that. But before leaving, I was standing by the beaver pond at Schwabacher's grousing with a couple of other shooters about the lack of light when 2 things hit me:

1. Nobody likes a whiner. So what if the sunrise was a drag...there are so many other things to see and do here that any day is a glorious day. Remember: Your worst day on vacation is better than your best day at work.

2. These mountains are so freakin spectacular to look at, any day you're here seeing them is a great day. Besides, leaving on a grey day means I have to come back. Next time I'll plan the trip a bit differently. More time in the Tetons and less time in Yellowstone. Maybe that way I can trick the weather and it will be nice while I'm here.

Things that make a Photographer go "Hmmmm...."

Musings on the last night in the Tetons. After 4 days in Yellowstone and 2 days here Heather and I are headed home tomorrow. It's been a grand journey and very thought provoking in many ways. Here are a few:

Camel Flash (Camoflouge)

I've seen lots of serious photographers in Yellowstone decked out in full camo gear from head to toe. Even their lenses have camo wrappings. Now I fully understand the importance of blending in when you're photographing creatures that aren't habituated to man. I've even been known to wrap myself in a camo poncho with only my lens poking out on a few occasions. But here's the deal. What is the purpose of being fully camo equipped in Yellowstone? I guess they figure if a bear or bison decides to charge the 100 or so tourists standing shoulder to shoulder photographing said creature, the camo will hide you and you won't be the one the critter stomps or chews. Hmmmmmm

Equipment Envy (It's all about size)

I fancy myself a professionial photographer. At the very least I'm a recovering professional photographer. And when I hit the field with my 100-400 zoom I usually feel pretty secure in my equipment. But all this week I've felt puny...under gunned...insignificant. When I haul out the 100-400 and I have the smallest lens there it's a sad deal. In Yellowstone, more often than not I found myself surrounded by "photographers" who have more wrapped up in their rigs than I paid for my car. Top of the line Nikon or Canon body with full blown motor drive, 500mm or 600mm lens, big-ass Gitzo tripod with a very expensive gimbal head, motor drives, etc. Where do these guys get their cash to buy this stuff. What do they do with the images? Are they all pros or just wannabes? Hmmmmmmm

Are you sure that's a wolf?

A few times this week we dropped by the Slough Creek trailhead where there was usually a ton of people with spotting scopes and stuff. When asked what they're looking at they would grudgingly point across the valley about 3/4 of a mile to an area where one of the wolf packs has their den. With my spotting scope cranked all the way to 60X I could see some small moving dots. "Are you sure those are wolves?" "Of course, I said so didn't I?" Seems to me if you're too far away to tell what the heck something is at 60X magnification, you didn't see no wolves. Hmmmmmm

Badgers? We don't need no stinkin badgers...

One of the ways to spot wildlife in Yellowstone is to drive around looking for a bunch of folks with big lenses (there goes the lens envy thing again) standing by the side of the road, stop and ask what they see. One such group replied "we're waiting for a badger to come out of the brush." A badger....really? Here you are in the home of 2 of the predators at the very top of the food chain and you're waiting in the rain for a badger? I just don't get that one. Hmmmmmm

Information please....

In past years and trips to Yellowstone and Grand Teton the Park Service staff has been really helpful with information on where to most consistently see wildlife. Keep in mind, wolves and bears are where you find them. To a certain degree they are creatures of habit but as someone once said, "...the only thing predictable about a grizzly is that it's unpredictable." This year, though, none of the government employees would commit to anything. The standard answer was "I haven't really heard anything specific..." Rubbish. They have radios and hear about every bear jam and every wolf jam and every whatever jam. But this year, none of them are sharing. Must be some kind of directive from the Democratic administration. Hmmmmmm

Wolf Watchers are friendly people. (If they know you)

There's a chat board I monitor from time to time detailing the movement of wolves and bears in Yellowstone. The folks there seem pretty friendly though occasionally they'll go off on some newbie that asks what they perceive to be a silly question. This year, though, on more than one occasion I stopped at a group of spotting scopes and asked what they were looking at. Most of the time someone would say "wolves" before going back to a conversation with their pals. More than once I had to be a persistant ass to get them to tell me more than that. Once I even had to ask 4 times for landmarks so I could try and spot the critter. They probably thought I was rude. I KNOW they were rude. Hmmmmmmm

And on that note I'm headed back to the cabin to get ready to leave in the morning. Bye for now Wyoming. I'll be back. And next time I'll have a bigger lens and a buncha camel flash clothing. That makes me a pro, right?

I was NOT lost....I was exploring!

When it comes to directional orientation there are two kinds of people: Folks that are pretty aware and folks who need Garmins. You know which one you are. If you're aware you may not always know exactly where you are but you have a pretty good idea of how to get where you want to go. If you're the other group, when someone tries to give you directions using North, South, East, or West (Take Colorado north to Colfax and turn east..) your eyes glaze over like a cop at a donut shop. You much prefer left, right, and descriptions of landmarks. And that's okay.

Personally, I'm in the first group. I can't explain exactly how or why I got this attribute but I'm almost always aware of where I am and how to get where I'm going. Maybe I got it from my Dad. When I was young and trying to learn my way around, and even later when I was older, Dad took great joy in never going the same way to a place twice. And if you were in a car following him you bloody well better know how to get where you're going cause at some point he was going to blaze through a yellow light and lose you.

Maybe it was from Boy Scouts. We went on a lot of campouts during the summers and did some orienteering with maps and compasses. My third year at summer camp I had to "carry my rock." We had to find a rock that weighed at least 16 pounds, carve our initials in it, and deliver it to the main office of the camp on Thursday night. Friday morning we were given a map to the location of our rock which was 5 miles from camp. You had to find your rock and carry it back to camp then carry it around with you all day and at the Friday night campfire, the last one before going home on Saturday, you got to put your rock in a big pile of rocks from years of 3rd year campers and got your "Indian" name. Me being me, I looked at the map and decided to take a shortcut that would cut at least 2 miles off the distance. Took off cross country and came out on the road about 100 yards from my rock. Probably pure dumb luck but I'll take it.

Then there was the surveying class I took when I was studying Forestry in college. I had to lay out a grid on a plot of land, take appropriate measurements, and create a topographic map of my plot.

Whatever the case, I'm not directionally challenged in the least. When my wife asks if we should take her car somewhere "because it has GPS" I laugh hysterically and ask if she remembers who she is talking to. But that's only background, not the point.

Last weekend I was visiting my daughter in Arizona and spent 2 mornings creating images in the Superstition Mountains north of Apache Junction. The first morning I parked the car on the shoulder of Highway 88 and walked about 100 yards into the desert to get a shot with no power lines. No problem, just walk back to the highway and I'm good. Easy. Next morning, though, was a llittle different story. I pulled into the parking area of the Bulldog Canyon Offroad Area about 30 minutes before sunrise, shouldered my backpack and tripod, and headed down a 4 wheel drive road. There were some pretty prominent landmarks and I was on a road so I didn't worry about getting lost. Heck, I could just backtrack on the road and find my way out no problem. After hiking about 3/4 of a mile from the car I found a good shooting location a couple minutes before the sun started to light up the landscape and spent about 15 minutes shooting the sunrise. The light was getting flat pretty quickly so I decided to head downhill from the road to a wash I'd crossed earlier that was running a trickle of water to see if I could locate some shaded pools to shoot reflections and that's where I went wrong.

After a while of shooting in the wash I started following a pair of Cardinals that were flitting from tree to tree, trying to get a decent shot of a real Arizona Cardinal. After about 30 minutes of trying to get a good shot I gave up and headed back to the car. I thought.....

I knew the road had crossed this wash but I wasn't sure exactly where so I figured I could head uphill a little ways and hit the road then hike back out so uphill I went. About 5 minutes of climbing and I was getting a bit winded and thinking "I should probably have hit the road by now...and that rock formation looks sort of like the one I was photographing this morning but wasn't it waaaaaaaaay up the hill from the road?"

So here's the situation: I'm away from my vehicle in unfamiliar territory. I had clearly gotten disoriented a bit when I was chasing the birds. Looking around I could see nothing but cacti, rocks, and hills. No sign of a road or a highway or the parking area where my car was. What to do? If I were in group 2 I would immediately panic and probably wander off in the wrong direction eventually becoming one of the many people that have gone into the Superstitions never to be seen again. But I'm NOT in that group. So I found a smooth rock to sit on and started thinking. Eventually a logical plan was formulated in my mind. I knew I could head straight downhill and find the wash. If I headed back the way I'd come while following the birds I would probably come across where the road crossed the wash. If not, I could keep going until the rock formations on top of the hill matched the angle I'd photographed them from then head uphill and find the road.

In this case I got to the wash and about 100 yards later I found the road and made my way back to the car. I wouldn't say I was lucky because I was able to avoid panic and use logic to find my way back but it could easily have been a difficult situation because I was a little bit stupid. I went into an unfamiliar area without a map and compass which is something I NEVER do...well, almost never. I had only a small bottle of water, hardly enough to last a day if I was truly lost. I was alone and nobody knew where I was other than "up by Apache Junction." That's not a recipe for disaster, it's a whole flippin cookbook.

So what's the moral of this story? Just this: DON'T BE STUPID! And follow a few simple rules.

1. Be Prepared! The Boy Scout Motto. Dont hike in the Desert without enough water and try to have a map of the area and either a compass or a handheld GPS. It's easy to get disoriented when everything looks alike.

2. If you're going somewhere alone make sure that someone knows at least the general area where you'll be and a rough time frame for your return. And if that changes, let someone know.

3. Before setting off on a hike take a moment to look around you for landmarks. See where the sun is in relation to where you are so you can logically figure out where the car is.

4. Finally, think your cell phone will save you? Wrong answer. Through this whole ordeal I had exactly zero cell service. In fact, I didn't have any reception until I got about 5 miles down the highway towards Apache Junction.

Most of all, be smart. Think about what you're doing. And above all, don't panic. If you got there you can get back but only if you can stay cool and think logically.

Random Musings while waiting to leave Phoenix

Okay, no more whining from me about not having any good images from the area around Phoenix. I found a treasure trove on the Apache Trail past Lost Dutchman State Park on highway 88. Got some nice stuff but there's probably 100 more locations I want to shoot. As if I needed a reason to come back. I think I may have found a hiking buddy and budding photographer in Granddaughter Kate. Time will tell.

But here are some random thoughts and musings:

1. If you buy a snow-kone at Surprise Stadium be prepared to have lips and tongue the same color as the flavor you chose.

2. If you're in Queen Creek and have to choose between a game in Tucson or Surprise (a Phoenix suburb) choose Tucson: it's closer.

3. After you return your rental car in Phoenix be sure you're on the right bus for your terminal. It never fails: every time I've rented a car in Phoenix someone gets on the first shuttle to the terminals that's available no matter which terminal their plane is at. Then scream bloody murder when the bus flies past where they want to be. If you're too stupid to read the signs that are EVERYWHERE, shut up! I don't want to hear about it.

4. Unless you're one of those people that hasn't flown or watched the news for 10 years or more don't be surprised when TSA makes you toss your 12 oz bottle of sunscreen. And don't get all indignant about it. The rules of 3.4 ounces or less have been in place nearly 8 years people.

5. If you checked in late for your Southwest flight and have a boarding pass that reads B98 don't jump up and get in line when they start boarding the first class passengers. You have a while to wait. And I promise, the plane won't leave until the door is closed and it won't close until you're aboard.

6. If you are "that guy" (see #5) and you have a carry on big enough to stuff a body in don't be surprised if the overhead bins are all full and you have to check your bag. And don't act all indignant: Check in earlier!

7. If you roll up to the little counter at the airport where they have plug in's for your laptop and someone tells you the plugs are dead, don't make yourself look dumb by trying them. Nobody dislikes you enough to lie to you about the plugs. Well, at least not until you try the plugs thinking that person is being spiteful and doesn't want you to use the plug.

8. Finally, when you're going through security to get to the concourse, you see everyone around you taking off their belts and shoes and jackets...and there are (once again) signs everywhere stating "Remove shoes, belts, jewelry, jackets or sweaters, and other metals" don't think you're exempt. Trust me, you are NOT that special and rest assured, after the third time through the metal detector in front of me cause you forgot to take off your watch and your jacket and your belt, I WILL tell you what a moron you are.

Okay, enough ranting for now. I need to get a cold drink before my plane leaves and I think someone wants to try using the plug I'm sitting in front of. Peace, Out!